Старое доброе:

Probability and Sex

10% of the women had sex within the first hour of their first date.
20% of the men had sex in a non-traditional place.
36% of the women favour nudity.
45% of the women prefer dark men with blue eyes.
46% of the women experienced anal sex.
70% of the women prefer sex in the morning.
80% of the men have never experienced homosexual relations.
90% of the women would like to have sex in the forest.
99% of the women have never experienced sex in the office.Conclusion:

Statistically speaking, you have a better chance of having anal sex in
the morning with a strange woman in the forest than to have sex in the
office at the end of the day.

Moral: Do not stay late in the office. Nothing good will ever come of it!
In memory of the BOFH

#926627 <bash.or> + <bash.or>(2858)http://bash.org/?le=f77746a4b6ba53bdc517072fa2701b42&sox=926627 <<A HREF=>">- [X] <bash.or><Javelin> Oh.
<Javelin> My.
<Javelin> God.
<Javelin> We have a unit here.  It's about the size of a small speaker.
<Javelin> In big letters across the front of it, it says "DATA DESTROYER."
<Javelin> Some idiot comes into my office just now, and asks, "hey, what is this thing?"
<Javelin> I say sarcastically, "it's a DVD polisher..."
<Javelin> Next thing I hear:  GRIND GRIND GRIND "WHAT THE FUCK?!?!"
<Javelin> Now they're pissed at ME.
<Javelin> Because THEY couldn't read.
<Javelin> Besides, it's not like I gave them PERMISSION to use MY "DVD Polisher."
<Javelin> I hate people.
Гы. Башорг нервно курит в сторонке.

Вакансия для работы на физфакеФизическому факультету МГУ на постоянную работу требуется начальник сантехнического участка. Оплата по результатам собеседования. Обращаться по тел. (495)939-31-41.

По результатам собеседования...
<MindSpark> So the officer stops me and asks for my license and registration
<MindSpark> After handing them to him , he asks who the car belongs to
<MindSpark> I tell him it's my wifes
<MindSpark> He asks if I have an authorization, because you have to have some proof that you're allowed to ride a car that's not yours
<MindSpark> I go "Sir, I ride the OWNER of this car personally with no authorization, do you really expect me to have an authorization to ride her car ?"
<MindSpark> Officer hands me back the papers in silence and salutes me
Пакеты, необходимые для сборки статьи для казанского университета:
Путь для создания папки для пакета: /usr/share/texmf-dist/tex/latex/textcase/
Порядок установки: распаковать zip, latex ${name}.ins, latex ${name}.dtx
создать папку, скопировать в неё ${name}.sty
запустить texhash — индексировать установленные пакеты
В тему детских мечт и взрослых реалий:
Из детских комшаров: "А вдруг ночью придет страшный робот!"
Из взрослых: "И криво проиндексирует сайт :((("
Как всегда — не выиграл, а проиграл, не волгу, а десять рублей...

Короче, не Колмогорова, а Арнольда. Задача про площадь прямоугольного треугольника, у которого гипотенуза 10 дюймов, а высота — 6 дюймов.
Нашёл трёхмерный бейсик. povray
Заготовка под снеговика выглядит так:
#include "colors.inc" camera { location <-2, 3, -10> look_at <0, 5, 0> } plane { // the floor y, 0 // along the x-z plane (y is the normal vector) pigment { checker color Black color White } // checkered pattern } sphere { <0, 5, 0>, 2 pigment { color White } finish { reflection 0.9 phong 1 } } light_source { <10, 10, -10> color White } light_source { <-10, 5, -15> color White }