← All posts tagged бред

TheCakeIsAlive

Justin Bieber was born Justine Bieber, until the age of 7 when she realized she was really a boy inside. Her parents put her on drugs to halt the effects of puberty until she was ready to make a decision.

This culminated in Justine taking the new name, Justin, and using his androgynous looks to star in a Disney Channel remake of The Andy Griffith Show as Justin Griffith, a little boy who somehow winds up sheriff of a town, with an adult deputy played by Tracy Morgan. The show was known for its slapstick comedy, smooth bass rhythms, and tour de force drama and action scenes, even managing to beat out The Sopranos to win an Emmy. This in turn led to the inevitable crossover between the two shows.

Unfortunately, Justin hit on hard times while living the good life at too young an age, as had happened before with Drew Barrymore, Lindsay Lohan, and Hilary Duff. While Justin had been self medicating with LSD and marijuana for some time, he began to suffer more and more from burnout and exhaustion. While working with Heath Ledger on the set of Wanted, Justin was exposed to the dangerous side of drugs: sleeping pills. Even though Wanted was hailed as an amazing adapation of a dark and provocative comic about supervillains and the urge to attain power in one’s life, Bieber would never be the same.

He began to do all the hard drugs. Tylenol, oxycodone, diazepam. He abused them all. Soon his life was a wreck of screwups and missed opportunities. The man to talk sense into Justin was an aging Jimmy Hendrix, who took the young man under his wing and got him to go to rehab. While there, Justin had an epiphany. He was going to be a singer.

While Hendrix was best known for his work in the genre of psychadelic rock, Justin Bieber soon found his place as a blues singer with such hit songs as “Rehab,” “Poker Face,” and “Bad Romance.” In that role, he has thrived, bringing his pretty-boy charm to the Blues and creating a resurgence in the under-the-radar genre. Currently, he is dating fashion designer and PETA supporter Stefani Germanotta, but that doesn’t stop the girls from mobbing him any chance he gets.